nice day.

the one about chain mails and stupid stories

Saturday morning 1245am I went to the empty corridor and looked to the sky. I expected to see 2 moons. According to my dad, tonight was the time Mars and Earth will be aligned and 2 moons will appear in the sky. I was so hyped up over what was going to happen that I even shed blood and tears in the process of extricating my camera from the dusty crevice normal people would call a 'drawer'.

I searched the entire sky for the spectacular phenom, for 'this is the only chance I will get in my lifetime' according to my dad. But I stared into was sheer darkness, no stars, no planes, no squid-like UFOs. Worst of all, no moon. For a moment, I thought the Mars moon was black so it was covering the Earth moon or something.

After a while, I gave up hope. Nada, nought, zero, egg. There was no moon in the midnight sky, let alone 2. Damn.

Next day when I asked my dad where he got the information from, he said 'email'. (don't ask me why I didn't ask him earlier. I didn't.) And I was like 'damn'. How on earth did I bring myself to believe that? If I had known it was email, I would have taken the info with a pinch of salt. So the bottom line here is, yeah, it's one of those stupid email messages people keep forwarding to one another.

Let me tell you more about the said email messages. They exist in 2 forms, chain letters and supposedly true accounts or stories by various individuals. In case you were living under a rock, here is an example of a chain letter (fill in the blanks with any nasty word you deem fit):

>> You have opened the email of _____, pass on the chain and receive good luck in
>>> your love life. Otherwise, be prepared to suffer the consequences of ______.

>>>> This letter has been going around for the last 10 years, and few have dared to >>>>> disobey the instructions.

>> Mr X received the exact same letter 8 months ago. Thinking that this was just
>>> another chain letter, he dissed it and deleted the mail. Wrong decision. The
>>>> next moment, his ______ cup of Lipton tea toppled ______ over him, _______ him
>>>>> in the _____. On his way to the toilet, he tripped over a cable and hit his
>>>>>> ______ on the wall. In pain, he decided to visit the doctor. While crossing
>>>>>>> the road to the bus stop, a _______ (pick car of choice) ran over him and
>>>>>>>> killed him with a resounding splat.

>> Ms Y received the exact same letter 5 weeks ago. Being the superstitious, ______,
>>> irrelevant, _______ and retarded _______ she was, she acted promptly and
>>>> forwarded this message to 200 of her _______ ah lian friends, who in turn
>>>>> forwarded it to 500 of their _______ ah beng friends each. The next day, she
>>>>>> won 4D and ToTo. Her ______ ah seng boy friend proposed to her.

> Believe it or not, it's true! Delete it and you will suffer the consequences.

>> Forward it and enjoy luck in money and love!

>>> If you send this to 100 people: Look, there's a dollar behind you!
>>>> If you send this to 200 people: Your crush will call you up.
>>>>> If you send this to 300 people: Your crush will ask you out and give you $3
>>>>>> just for the sake of it.

There you have it! A replica of the original. Of course, other than having lesser arrows, better english and less bombastic ideas, it's almost as real as the real thing! (The format here is pretty screwed up though.) Like it? I bet you do! Now of course, if you aren't stupid or desperate or anything, you won't dig it right? Of course, if you do want to take the risk and send it(oh no oh no), do move the mug of Lipton out of the way.

The 2nd type of junk you will usually receive are stories and true accounts of people, requesting you to forward the email to as many people as possible. In case you were living under a pebble, storylines usually lie along the line of:

1) Poisonous chopsticks
2) Cats peeing on sugarcane
3) The 9 planets coming into line with one another
4) Every email sent, XX company will donate 5c to a poor and handicapped boy/girl
5) Government announcing a tax free Singapore

Stories that warn of health risk by certain foods, affected so and so, caused so and so to vomit/fall sick/have diarhoea/die like number 2..Far fetched storylines like number 3...ridiculous charitable acts by a certain company who spends time tracking email volume and putting itself in a potential bankrupt situation as seen in number 4. And simply impossible scenarios as said in number 5.

In case you were unaware, people didn't create chain letters and stupid cork stories for nothing you know. Sure, they are bored and have no life, but they want you to forward it so they can have a constant list of email addresses to send spam advertisements to. No I don't need Viagra, nor do I want to mortage my house, or my car, or my comp. Get lost.

As long as people continue to forward these emails, the spam ads will never stop. So stop being foolish today and create a spam-free tomorrow!! Hurray.

posted by weihao @ 9:09 PM 0 comments

the one about SBS

A wise man from Singapore once said, " 1/4 of your life, you spend on waiting. Not until SBS made it 1/2 ". Despite gross sentence structure and strange phrasing, this sentence still reeks of the aura of wisdom and awe. Just picture any sage-like samaritan saying those words, with his right finger pointing vertically upwards and his eyes rolling halfway down the back of his head while he does so. I guarantee you will be inspired to tears. Don't believe me? Pay the uncle from vj's western food stall to do the same thing and witness the magic. Add a halo if you are in a good mood.

Ok ok..I think I shall get straight to the point. If you think the previous paragraph had no link at all and was a waste of your time, don't read it. Anyway, as the title of this post says, I'm here to talk about everyone's favourite bus company, SBS!

Things I absolutely "love" about SBS buses:
1)Most of the buses are air-conditioned nowadays
2)Some bus drivers are over friendly, but still okay
3)There are little crevices at the back of the seat to stick your rubbish into
4)TV Mobile

Things about SBS buses that irritate me:
1)Some air con filters have been removed/spoilt, leaving cold air to blast you left right front center (and I can't do anything about it since I'm lazy to move.)
2)Some bus drivers drive too slowly/brake too abruptly/talk to much/stink
3)The crevices at the back of the seat are too small & I can't stuff tissue into them
4)TV Mobile? Most of the time, I remember watching slide shows

What truly irritates me about SBS is that no matter what time I go down to the bus stop, waiting is inevitable. It's always the buses that I don't want to take that arrive first. It always takes a great deal of waiting before my bus arrives. Sometimes I wonder if SBS really has this super technology that reads peoples' minds and studies peoples' habits so that they can send out buses at exactly the right time, just so each individual waits at least 5 minutes for the bus. Probably to make people appreciate their lousy buses better. Hmm. Either that or I'm just suay.

posted by weihao @ 4:45 PM 0 comments

the one about fighting zombies

My friend told me before that whatever you dream is actually closely linked to your real life. For example, if you dream about panicking during an exam, you are probably really afraid of taking it. Or if you dream about being chased, you are probably trying to run away from some truth you are hiding. Or whatever.

The dream I had a few weeks ago made me wonder if I really hated mutated people. You know, those zombies you've been seeing in horror flicks like 'Dawn of the Dead' or something..Yeah, here's a short account of what happened (in drawings so lousy it makes me cringe):


In case you didn't understand what I was scribbling about. Here's a brief explanation: I end up in this supermarket with plenty of goods stocked up. Ugly zombies are everywhere. They attack with nothing else but their hands and bad breath. Armed with a rifle, I take them down one by one. After shooting for a while, I get really pissed and decide to disguise as a hungry zombie. The lousy acting works and I manage to escape admist the confusion.

You know, you actually learn a lot from your dreams. From this dream I learnt 2 very important things:
1)Zombies are pretty stupid.
2)I can't wait to join the army.

I think I dream up pretty wild and exciting stuff ay? Maybe someday a movie producer from Hollywood would hire me to sleep all day just so I can dream up movie ideas for him so he can churn out more zombie flicks, matrix rip-offs, comic book adaptations and romantic comedies. I'll probably end up wasted on sleeping pills.

posted by weihao @ 11:58 PM 0 comments