the one about a simple update
hihi. just a slight update of my life.
Things are pretty normal. Just that prowling does get quite mentally and physically shagging at night. I can be wide awake at home watching DVDs at 1am. But when it's time to prowl at 1am, my body will start coming up with stupid excuses and all kinds of potential excuses to skip prowling.
Bah. But it gets done anyway. So the camp is safe. :D
Anyways, talked to my good jc friend recently and realised she and I used to be in neighbouring primary schools, like next door to each other. Apparently, we took the same school bus home everyday, probably like for most of my lower primary life.
How cool. She's the best friend of the plump girl I quarrelled with once in the bus. The plump girl is from my kindergarten. Both went to VJC. :P
It's like, I was flipping through year book one fine day. And I saw this girl which looked vaguely similar to the childhood plump girl. And her name seemed to be the same as what I somehow remembered of the plump girl. Hahah..ok...in the end, she turned out to be the plump girl.
Well well. I shan't refer to her as the plump girl already. Cos' I think she's quite pretty now.
Ok...so I watched 'Nacho Libre' over the weekend. Kinda like Jack Black. What a comedian. He doesn't really need to say anything to be funny. I like the retro feel of the whole show. Resembles Italy or Mexico or some country..but should be Mexico cos' the story line is Mexican style wrestling.
I like the song that played several times throughout the show too. Kinda cute.
As a wrestling fan, I could probably relate more to the show. But it's maybe because of this that I found the wrestling scenes rather simple and not looked into. It's a comedy yes. But more action and better moves could be used. It's Mexican wrestling!
If you are looking for something light hearted and crappy, go watch it. But don't watch it on a weekend. It's certainly not worth your $9.50. :(
the one about the day's evening
Went out with my parents to Taka's Pepper Lunch for dinner. Meant to celebrate my birthday. Oh well. I guess they would like this type of hot plate things with lotsa beansprouts and carrots, so I took them there.
Anyway, when we just arrived at Orchard, mum was approached by this surveyor and well, was asked to do a survey about travelling. Turns out they were from some travel agency and a scratch-and-win was offered as well.
Mum won something and later Dad scratched-and-won the top prize supposedly. Some trip to somewhere. I couldn't be bothered with what was going on anyway. They were asked to attend this stupid talk at some place nearby about travel tours and such. Then they can take the vouchers or something.
Turned out to be some travel club and apparently they started bull-shitting a lot, according to my mum. I was suspicious right from the start because this whole shit sounded like a stupid scam to me. Ok, so in the end, they got the vouchers.
Didn't know much cos' I really couldn't be bothered that something that stupid had to come and ruin my birthday evening.
They attended the meaningless talk for about 2 hours or so, leaving me walking aimlessly around town for that same amount of time. If you know me well enough, you would know that I really hate wandering aimlessly around by myself. It's really quite pathetic.
Especially when they didn't particularly get anything out of it except for some shopping vouchers. I would rather have gone home early than waste my time bumming around Orchard. And you are hearing this from someone who really loves to go out. Because tonight was really really boring.
I told my mum my birthday was pathetic. She told me I couldn't really say that cos' they had already spent a huge amount on clothes for me, and that the dinner was by right, supposed to be paid by me.
Oh well. Thanks for missing the whole point totally. It's like someone throwing a watermelon towards your face but missed you wide. And you didn't even bother to dodge. Fuck that.
What a pleasant day. :D
the one about today
Ah. Sorry for smearing the emo for the previous posts. I badly needed someone to talk to but I couldn't find anyone. So I decided to talk to my blog. Just like some of you might like talking to your pet dog. It just sits there staring at you but you can be guaranteed that there'll be no stupid opinions.
I'm quite glad that I could express myself in words. It's a form of release. Better than feeling cooped up and frustrated because a listening ear isn't by your side.
Not that I wanted to put down those 2 entries. It wasn't meant for anyone. Just for me to feel better. But right now, I wonder the magnitude of impact that those words have caused. I'm not sure either.
Today's a pretty special day. Many people don't seem to know. Yes. It's rather saddening.
Today's my birthday.I don't expect too many people to remember the 26th July. Because I haven't been remembering too many birthdays either. Not a single friend from school remembered. But the initial numbers were pathetic in the first place too.
Out of sight, out of mind. Perhaps. Bah.
Ever spent time and effort searching, not thinking much about budget like you always do, for a perfect present for someone? You wait. And on your birthday you don't even receive as much as an sms from the person wishing you a happy birthday.
Sad? How about the same situation taking place for 2 years. 2 rounds of birthdays.
Just tells you so blatantly how much you mean to that person. So blatant it hurts.
I got a birthday off today. That's good. An off isn't bad at all. Gives me so much time to spend on reading magazines, watching wrestling vcds and playing old computer games. All by myself. Lots of time to think stupid things too. And stupid thoughts just lead to stupid posts like these.
I always secretly envy how some people spend their birthdays. With friends making such a big issue out of it. Presents, cake and all. Then they all celebrate and sing cheesy birthday songs in the canteen so the whole school can hear. And you can see the lucky peep lugging a plastic bag full of presents, and a shiny balloon at the end of a nylon string tied to the handle of the bag.
Or how everyone would hang out. Just to celebrate his or her birthday.
The best I've got from my friends is a card signed by everyone and an Oasis CD. Not that I'm complaining. I love the surprise. And I still love you guys. But how I wish I could have one of those rowdy birthdays as well.
Gotta go. My parents are taking me out to dinner. The highlight of today. :)
the one about mushy emo stuff
Hello blog. I felt like talking to you tonight.
I was just wondering today if I had done enough to be able to justify the non-chalance I've been receiving. All the weird thoughts and bloody imagination that drive me wild, worry after doubt.
Maybe everything was just a big story cooked up by thinking too much. I came up with the entire show, starred in it, directed it as I went along, tried to make it better, and later see the supposed story crumble before me as my paranoid mind once again, drives me into a series of lows.
You could say it was a sappy, unromantic love story. But even then, the female lead doesn't even have the slightest clue she's in the script.And once again, the whole question I've been trying to answer presently is whether I had done enough. Enough to get the point across. Did I?
It'll be pretty crucial to answer that question eh. If not how will I be able to tell what she's feeling.
This really sucks. It's so much easier not to think about it at all. Well. Suppressing is easy. Really. Much easier than I thought.
I. Probably am just a insignificant figment of her life, which is by itself, already brimming with so much hope, potential, happiness and fufillment.
Blemish. Where do I stand?
Incoherent post. Some parts I'm not even sure. It's sad. I really didn't like typing this post at the start of such a day.
A day like today. :)
the one about a tangled mass of feelings
i am usually happy. not today. esp not a few moments ago.
it's that feeling again. i so haven't felt in a long long while. well, i wouldn't have liked saying that. this time it's stronger i suppose.
forgive me but I don' think i'm going to make much sense to most of you reading. which i suppose is less than 10. being stuck here on a sunday morning with no one in particular to tlak to and to share your feelings is really feeling like poo.
I noe this stupid post is emo n can be found on a regular blog out there go google it or sth. but I don liek to keep this bottled up so i just put in on this blog.
i like you. can't u see. i don know how you feel. blah. it sucks. its' freaking tiring. status quo is harmless. and anything more may be disastrous to the friendship. its confusing if i should do or say anything more.
sth waiting for your replies cna be killing. wondering how you would feel or take it at the end of the line. it really sucks.
i don knoe how you feel about me. that sucks too. and i 'm not sure if feeling the way i do now and feeling more and more will do me any good. or if you feel status quo all d way, and i'm just falling into this spiralling web of like.
guess i'm just this loser hoping for too mcuh.
you are so preoccupied with ur life i feel quite bad interrupting it so often. ur life's good. it's packed and fufilling. not like me. nothing much to my name. just slacking away in a certain part of this land reading, eating and sleeping. i've never accomplished much in m life. and sth i feel that i'm chasing something impossible to reach.
and i saw something just now that i'm not sure if i'm ever supposed to feel sad about it. cos' i simply might be thinking too much again. that imagination. and fuck, it's coimng from the computer screen, dude. its a blog fer goodness sake.
who am i to you. i'm jus the regular guy fren perhaps. nothing. argh. someone hoping for too much. yet nothin to prove.
ignorance kills. cos the truth behind how exactly you think is really biting me on the flesh. hard. it sends me into this messy myraid of freaking shapes and colours. confusing. abeit a faulty kaleidoscope. fuck that anyway.
yes. jealousy. i. suppose. but yet again ignorance blinds me. how am suposed to know if how i feel is actually justified. or whether i'm feeling like that cos of the situation i'm making up in my very mind. ignorance.
my mind is quite blank now. so messy that it's as good as empty. i'm trying to type it all off but i'm just failing. it's cool. at least i got some of it off my mind. but there's still this ball of messy feelings inside me that i could feel probing at the center of my chest. and the blank mind is seemingly suppresing it. so i can't put it in order. and process em slowly in my mind. it's just. a blurry tangled mass.
deep down. i guess im just a regular guy fren. right? i wouldn't noe. if i don ask. and i'm afraid to do so.
no one to share it with. so i share it with my blog. maybe it could get to someone. but probably she wouldn't think much of it anyway.
am not trying to pass on any stupid hidden message or what. i'm just venting it all out in words because there's no one to hear me. and even it is. it's so so difficult to put it. it seems long-winded this stuff. but it's barely 30% of how i feel. the rest i don't know how to express.
like the way i say it on my blog. at least it gave me some form of expression. flat black words on a flat screen. no doubt. but it helps.
good old blog.
i love you.
the one about strange little wild animals
The other Thursday when I was on duty, I spotted a crab lingering near the trash outside the guardroom. Small but exhibited vicious behaviour. Ha.
My staff sergeant caught an eel-like creature from
whoknowswhere and placed it in a red pail next to the water cooler. Right now as I'm blogging, the eel should still be stoning inside the pail.
At my other duty area, I spotted a cute squirrel scurrying along the top of the fence and disappear behind the corner.
Talk about the environment I work in. I feel more like a park ranger than anything else.
the one about world cup (part 2)
Ok let's see.
The World Cup Finals are like later. And I'm not really hyped up or getting emo ripping my hair out or anything. Or doing shit like colouring my face or some weird stuff like that.
Well, I ain't really crazy about soccer in the first place. And this World Cup just simply means that there are less people in town fighting with me over discounts in the Singapore Sale. Ok, a small part of that was bullshit but you get the point. The idea is there.
In fact I was never a fan of soccer. I would be better off just catching goal replays on the evening news. I can never understand what the hell is an offside and people just look bewildered when I ask them like I should know already duh.
I never owned a soccer jersey and will never want to own one. Unless it's free. Even then, I wouldn't wear it to save my life because wearing soccer jerseys out is so fucking cheesy and I can't explain why. Oh boy, it does make a BIG fashion statement though. WOW.
On a fairer note, soccer does have its exciting moments though. I can't deny. And the World Cup does work its magic in some ways. Am I catching the Finals later?
Hell yeah.
God give me strength to actually last through the match. Well so I can tell people I at least managed to watch one match of this World Cup in its entirety. Please.
I tried to watch the 2 semis on Channel 5, telling myself to pull through, but all I managed is to fail miserably. Drifting in and out of sleep, I think I watched a grand total of slightly less than 30 minutes of football...for both of the matches.
For the Italy/Germany match, I woke up at about 520am ready to go to camp. I was like..ok they are still playing. Extra time seemed to be almost over and I thought maybe if I bathe fast enough I can still catch the penalties before I leave the house. After that, I come out of the loo to see Ballack crying on international television. Oh ok.
After all that drifting in and out of sleep and trying badly and futilely to stay awake, I miss the climax because I went to use the loo for slightly more than 5 minutes. Amazing timing.
Oh yah. Another testament to the sheer influence and inspiration of the World Cup. My parents actually asked me if I was watching the finals later. Woohoo, sensational!
I hope Italy wins. Because I feel I can connect more with Italy's captain, who is about my height.
the one about world cup (part 1)
World Cup. Wow.
So I should be camping around the television huh. Slumped in that sofa that I would call my bed, my dining table, my pee point and my shit point. Slumped at a certain angle such that my eyes are just peering slightly over the rows and columns of Pringles and Coke bottles, upright or lying on the side, so I can catch all the action about men and balls.
It's the a.m hour and the lights in the living room are switched off, the only lights and sounds blaring from the telly. It's France vs Brazil. And Zidane's head is really bright. You squince at the ray of light that seems to have momentarily blinded you. Then Ronaldo bounces along.
ouch.You doze off. Then awake with a start, not wanting to miss a single beat of the match. NO, you tell yourself. I've made it halfway through. It's just another half hour or so before I can go back to sleep and then wake up 24 hours later to catch the next match. I won't....give...uppp..
I....must........perservere.......You start encouraging yourself with the will of a BMT recruit wanting to make it to OCS. You last through the match and then promptly doze off on the sofa, leaving the TV blaring anyway. Hope I can wake up in time for the next match.
Leave the lunch and dinner on the table, mum. I'll skip breakfast, then eat everything on the table while I watch teevee. I see that my hotmail account has this big number next to the 'inbox' icon while my handphone has this strange-looking '100 messages received' signal on the screen. And I have no idea why the digits are like, increasing. huh?
Bah. Don't really care. Teknologi nowsaday. =(
I peer up from the sofa and realise I'm slouching low enough such that I can see the silhouette of my belly striking a brillant arc across the teevee screen. That reminds me. Gotta ring up Mac to order fish fillet. Got discount I think. Meanwhile I'll just go sleep or something.
I shan't go out with anyone. I won't log on to msn. I shall refrain from playing dota. I have already broken up with my girlfriend. The World Cup. Nothing shall stop me and her from being together. NOTHING. It's my life. Well, at least for the month. I don't care if army charges me for awol or desertion or if my employer sacks me or what. I don't fucking care.
When I run out of cash for Pringles, I think I can sell this sofa on eBay. Afterall, it has become unique with that giant depression shaped like a human frame permanently imprinted on top. I heard exquisite art pieces fetch a good price nowadays.
Not forgetting however, that there are already a huge number of similar art pieces on sale in the market. :O
the one about my parents and korean shows
A conversation about a korean drama between my parents and I.
Dad: You should watch this show (Lovers in Harvard).
Me: For what??
Dad: Then you will be like that male lead eventually. When you watch him for a while, you will soon start to be like him! Like a gentleman!
Me: Ahaha!!
Mum: You know he's a top lawyer in Harvard!
Me: But it's just a show! OMG.
Mum: Yah..But still shows that there are very clever people around like him.
Me:
orh.That's my parents. Funny people. By the way, my dad said the same thing for Winter Sonata. And they are encouraging me to watch that too.
the one about my deceased mp3
My beloved mp3 player died out on me. A few weeks back. But I only took it to see the doc like 2 days ago. Because finally I'm stuck on a dismount day with nothing in particular I want to do and with all my friends either in camp or working.
Headed down to the Creative Store down at Marina Square. Oh yah, by the way, it's a Creative Zen Micro that's about a year old.
I don't know what happened but it all started when the on/off switch suddenly decided not to function. Okay. Still can manage. I just had to to take out the battery and put it back again to flick it on. And when I wanted to turn it off, I simply press 'pause' and wait for it to shut down automatically.
Genius. =)
Then one day a few weeks back, I was feeling bored at the driving centre and I put my mp3 on random play mode. It was at this christmas song 'Joy To The World'.
Yeah yeah, I admit I have a self-compiled christmas song folder.
Ok. So I never did listen to that song. But now that I eventually did, the whole machine just damn hanged. And then it remained that way. I took out the battery and put it back but the player just couldn't start. Argh. That track must have been corrupted. Given there were about a thousand songs in it, I guess I was pretty unlucky.
So I was at the Creative counter. And the not-so-friendly counter lady said she had to format the player. I didn't mind. As long as she (the mp3) turns out fine. Then later she told me formatting wouldn't help and said the entire thing was spoilt. I'm sad. Partly because the very last song I heard on it wasn't a GNR song. =(
And I had to pay $138.80 for a 1-to-1 exchange. For the same model.
No I won't. Might as well get a new one. :D
Anyway, I was attacked mercilessly by mosquitoes at camp last night. Well, I hope they were mosquitoes. Not bed bugs..eek. But now there's these mosquito bites on my arms and legs so I figure I was indeed attacked by mosquitoes.
Well, unless you tell me there are other insect bites that resemble mosquito bites.
the one about a near-incident
Last night during prowling, we realized that the lights in the sentry box were switched on. It scared the shit out of us. We were kinda freaked out so we headed back to the guardroom and missed a checkpoint.
After discussing with the corporals, we came to the conclusion that we actually forgot to switch off the lights earlier in the evening. Argh. Relieved but I felt that anything more would still add a dash of colour to my otherwise drab routine army life.
not forgetting the content it would give me to impress girls. Oh on a side note, I just recieved news that I got a half day off because I went to perform.
irritating spongebob laughter:
BaHAHahAH...(x100)
the one about my peformance
What a good experience to perform in front of such a crowd. That evening was painfully long as I waited for a few good hours before really getting up there to perform. The rehearsals were nerve wrecking enough since I didn't really know anyone there.
Haha. Things lightened up a little after I started talking to a few of them, who looked really nervous too. Anyway, I wasn't going to let anxiety eat me. I wanted to put up a good show. I knew it was the only way if I wanted people to listen.
Performance was fine at the beginning. Mananged to calm down quite a bit before I actually took the stage. And I swear the microphone was so loud that I didn't even have to put in much effort to be heard over the sound system. Well. It was good initially.
Then the end of the song where the last chorus was was the loud part. I had converted the track from mp3 format so it was full of distortion too. So basically the music consumed my voice near the end. argh.
It's fun to perform. How I wish I had more chances to do that.
My platoon commander smsed me saying I sang really well. I really hope she meant it. :D
Ok ok..back to the dull life comprising of reading, catching guppies and ogling at monitor lizards. I think it'll be quite a while before the next high point comes along.
