the one about a freaky incident
Met up with Howard a few days back. He told me an incident from camp and I just felt I had to share it with you. But first, let me warn you before hand that the incident below touches on the supernatural and if you are hum and faint after reading this and then want to sue me, then please get out first.
Here it goes:
A certain Indian guy in his platoon stands in front of the toilet mirror, saying aloud, " Ah, so long no girls around. Damn horny. Female ghost I also fuck. "
That very night he really sees a female ghost. How did she look like? Braided hair and wearing spectacles. (I'm having shivers down my spine while typing this.) The next day, he caught a high fever and was sent home on Attn C. Well..scary? I thought it was. Weird too. I don't know the history of Tekong but what would a bespectacled girl with braids do in an island occupied mostly by sweaty and smelly men?
I'm enlisting next Friday, 6 Jan. Apprehensive, but I'm okay with the whole army thing. Just take it as long term extreme makeover.
the one about doughnuts!
Christmas was spent hanging out in town in the afternoon people watching and talking serious cok. I also went to Taka and bought some doughnuts.
It's from Doughnut House(I think) at Taka Basement 1, next to Häagen-Dazs. I bought some Lemon Cheese Dough thingey, which was so heavenly I decided to buy another one plus the 2 above to bring home.
Lemon Cheese Dough isn't in the picture cos' my Dad took it to office.
Oh yah. The chocolate one in the photo was better than expected. Tastier than the regular doughnut and it's so soft it almost melts in your mouth. omg.
Prices are reasonable too. An average doughnut about $1.40. Go buy!
the one about xmas eve
The night of Xmas eve is probably the only time when you can hang around town and spray random strangers with foam and streamers(what you call it?)and won't get hooted.
Personally, I didn't mind people spraying white stuff at everyone else. I mean, everyone is on a high and the white stuff does look like snow flakes and such..yeah..christmas mood..everyone happy, i happy.
I just hope they didn't have to stink so much. It was slightly stinky and suffocating at the same time and makes you choke.
Traffic junctions became playgrounds for overly hyper and andrenaline-charged teens, especially guys, where they keep spraying and letting go the white stuff in all directions, up down left right center, at any random stranger. And that random will splurt back at them.
Retarded? Definitely. But it's some good retarded fun.
I didn't want to get involved though, but I didn't have much of a choice. Giving > Receiving but I definitely did not 'give' anyone anything. The slight drizzle made the floor wet, this plus foam = slippery ground. I didn't mind white foam being sprayed on me and wet is fine, so I'm okay with the whole thing.
Xmas eve was good. Chilled out with 2 really great peeps, Howard and Xueshen and it's good to hear that Howard was doing fine in army. I shall tell you more about a certain incident that happened in camp according to Howard in the next entry.
Meanwhile, do catch King Kong. It's some good shit.
the one about Queen DVDs
Today I was supposed to meet up with a few HnF people to go camping at ECP. Didn't work out for several reasons which I don't wish to elaborate, but it was partly due to the wet weather.
Ended up going to City Hall area with my parents again. Being hanging out a lot with them lately. I thought I had better do so as much as possible or I would have few chances to do so if I was in the army.
And I saw Queen music videos and concert DVDs today!! ARghhhh....it's pretty strange how I react to seeing those Queen DVDs. On first sight, my heart skips a beat and then I start to hyperventilate. Gasp!! Queen, live at Wembley! OMFG, damn it!
How I wished I lived in the 1980s so I could actually fly abroad to see Queen and Guns N' Roses perform live. And yes, I know the Queen tribute concert is coming to Singapore on January 20th and 21st..and if I don't count wrongly or if there are no cock ups, it will be my first book out from camp.
I want to go! But it's a risk as am not really sure if I'm actually going to book out on that day. And there's the Oasis concert coming up in Feb and then the Singapore Idol auditions on Feb 11...and I'm not sure if I'm able to get out of camp to attend them.
Life sucks. They all have to happen when I go army huh?
Speaking of Sg Idol, I wanted to join 2 years back. Thanks to my mum, who claimed I will end up making a fool of myself and be part of trailer trash because I didn't have professional training. yeah right.
If everyone who went had professional training, then every music teacher would be millionaires.
And she blamed me today, saying I should have gone for Sg Idol if I really had the will to, and I should not have bothered about her comments if I really had the heart to join. What?! I respected your opinion, for claus sake.
Anyway, back to Queen DVDs...Live at Wembley costs 60 bucks! Help. I really want it! Better save up some cash to get it, together with Live at the Bowl and also the GNR DVDs as well.
Or mabybe you could buy them for me.
the one about duh! questions
Sometimes my mum asks the funniest questions:
Here I am sitting at home minding my business while the phone rings.
'Ring Ring!', says the phone.
I pick it up.
It's my mum.
Mum: "Hao, you are home already ah?"
Me: Er..yeah
I return home.
Mum opens the bed room door.
'Creak.', says the door.
Mum: "Hao, back already ah?"
Me: "Erm..yes."
Maybe she was just trying to check if it was really me. She knows it can't be my dad cos he's working. Probably she thought it was a burglar or something.
Well..I don't know.
What I do know is that sometimes we ask duh-inducing questions but we don't know it. Like sometimes I find myself saying, " Yo, what you doing here? " when I see, say a friend, at a shopping centre.
But of course, the king of duh! questions is no doubt: Can I ask you a question?
Now, how do you answer that type of question? If you replied no, you would have just been an ass and contradicted yourself upside down. Whatever it is, I hate it when people ask me that particular question. Damn, you didn't even give me a chance to make a choice.
the one about old school
Today I'm going to show everyone a meaningful picture.
This is old school, literally. Fans of old school, I think you will like this. In fact, this is my mum's old school.
This was taken when she was in primary 2, that's like 1964. Hm, that's like 41 years ago, holy crap..
Anyway, my mum used to study in Havelock Primary and the place that you see in the photo is the present Boys' Brigade HQ.
Ok, judging from the picture, everyone seemed to have bad hair back then. Neat though.
The reason for posting up the picture is because those people in the picture are going to meet up very soon for a gathering. My mum received this picture through email and I thought it would be sweet if I posted it up.
42 people, meeting up 37 years after leaving primary school. Each one of them was just a figment of the life of another, yet each and everyone of them is the author of their own life.
It's pretty amazing to imagine and follow 42 different paths of lives for 37 years and at the end of this time, everything will be shared over a dinner table.
I can't express myself properly. :D
The thing with old school gatherings is that everyone will be so enthusiastically finding out stuff about each other and one can almost expect the sharing of life stories and name cards.
Let's not forget the exchange of words of encouragement and the occasional fist, should anyone get too high and wasted.
I wonder what will happen if I met up with my primary 6 classmates when I'm 49 years old. I think there will be so much to share. But then again, I don't think anyone would be that free to organise it anyway. Haha.
Oh yah, if you who are reading this entry know of anyone that was studying in Havelock Primary wayyyy back in the 1960s, show them the picture and they might actually find themselves in it.
But then again, it'll be difficult. My mum couldn't find herself. :)
the one about feeling sick
I feel like crap. It's not fever but I feel queasy and my head seems a little more dizzy than normal. I figure it's the lack of rest - late nights and early mornings and I've been trying to catch up on my sleep during the day.
I can't really fall asleep. It's probably mental tiredness. The type which exists in your head as a slight throbbing headache and you try to sleep but you can't. It doesn't help that construction work is going on 8 floors below. Drill drill drill, hammer hammer hammer..so irritating even if the windows are closed and when I hide my ears under the pillows. It's pressing, there's no escape from the noise everywhere in the house.
Dad insisted I follow him to pick up Mum from the office then go for dinner together, so I could get a little sun and probably feel better. Ended up we didn't go for dinner because I lost any appetite I had. So I just remained in the car for the half and hour which I could have used to watch Spongebob at home.
Didn't go running today when I should have and I terribly feel claustrophobic at home.
the one about how to spend my Christmas
Hello everyone! I've been thinking of doing something really special this christmas. I not sure what, but probably something I haven't done before. Ah ha. I have come up with the following:
1)Hold a Christmas party at my house and invite my close friends over. Drink, eat, talk, talk cok.
2)Organise a pirated DVD movie marathon over at my place.
3)Hang out with the hip crowd at those midnight parties. And probably end up a wall flower.
4)Meet up with a few good friends to have a nice meal at Kallang Mac. 24 hours, can count down while eating.
5)Go illegal busking along Orchard Road.
6)Dress up as Santa and run down Orchard Road, shouting 'ho ho ho'. This could bring a smile to everyone, so sweet. Could appear on TV too, why not?
7)Stay home the whole day and watch 'Love Actually', which is by the way, a very heartwarming show which takes place around Christmas.
8)Surprise friends by appearing at their doorstep and giving them presents.
9)Spending half the day researching on the origin of Christmas and the other half finding out why Christmas must put Christmas tree.
10)Go Chinatown and immerse youself in the festive mood. Gong Xi Fa Cai.
You know, I really wouldn't mind holding a party over at my house. Judging from the beer ads on TV, I could probably get a few vodkas and then will have pretty girls come over. Speaking of Vodkas, they are sold at SG$2.50 in Taipei, which is santa-climb-down-the-chimney cheap.
Ladies and gentlemen, gays, x-men and paedophilles, Green tea whisky costs SG$3.00 in Taipei. Tasteless though but comes with a cute bottle.
And I wouldn't mind running down Orchard in a Santa costume, provided someone can supply me with enough pillows and the costume, which I heard is quite expensive. Right now, I'm trying my best not to shave but it's pretty impossible to grow a beard like Santa and dye it white by the 25th, so I'll probably have to buy a fake beard, which is probably costly too. (since 90% of bored bachelors below the age of 25 are probably thinking the same thing, which leads to the rise in demand for fake beards.)
I need ideas on how to spend my christmas, preferably not alone again. Ideas for pranks are also welcome, since people tend to be more forgiving during Christmas.
the one about 'fucked' up english signs
I have something funny to share with everyone. This is what my Dad sent me a few days back. It's about english signs found in China.
So much for direct translation. And 'Gan' does mean 'Fuck' in chinese. What were the makers of the signs thinking when he did those stuff? Oh man. Anyway, that's some retarded humour for a boring boring day, when I spent most of it playing playstation (it's PS1, ok? Old school entertainment) and singing karaoke with my 2 other classmates who came over. Ok, I'm going to take a nap. Bye!
the one about gay stuff that I bought
I am devastated. Spongebob cartoons seem to get more and more boring by the day. When you seemingly get more kicks in watching Bob the Builder, you know your favourite cartoon is in trouble. I'm probably hitting puberty, that's why I find Spongebob less funny than before.
Anyways, in order to entertain myself during this 'shit!-time-passes-freaking-fast-and-am-enlisting-in-exactly-a-month' break, I brought back 2 friends from Taipei.
Presenting to you my pet monkey and Doraemon! Man, I wonder why I ever bought them, probably because I was on a mindless shopping spree over in Taipei, where these 2 jokers are just the less retarded things which I bought. The others are too shameful to mention. No, I didn't buy dildos.
Oh yah, I think the Doraemon is rather unique. If you press that protruding pocket on his belly, his eyes will spin and change into something else. Let me show you:
Happy
Very Happy
Got Chio bu! *faints*See? You know what? I got 3 of them cos' they were selling 3 for SG$5.00. And now I feel gay because I seem excited blogging about Doraemon. Damn I better stop and tell you more about the other stuff that me and my family bought. We got several packets of Mua Chee, several packets of strange-looking eggs, several other packets of weird food which I haven't really figured out what they are, several key chains for my friends and cousins and...and..for myself, I got a pair of tough leather shoes and an imitation but artistic Beatles shirt which reads 'The Peatles'. Anyway, I think Doraemon cartoons are cute and funny with porn here and there.
In consideration of the small kids that may be viewing the above cartoon, the author has limited his use of vulgar language so that he will not be fucking responsible for any parent fucking blaming him for fucking teaching the wrong fucking stuff to kids.
the one about taipei
Woohoo. Taipei was a blast! We did mostly shopping and more shopping at night markets and shopping districts, but we did go sight-seeing and such, not much though. Alright, I'll show you the pictures I took there, all of which are interesting to me, mostly pictures of food and more food, night markets, streets..blah..
Lots of pictures ahead. If you are sick of waiting for the pictures to load, then can just read the captions.
One of the night markets in Taipei. If I'm correct, it's Xihua Street or something. The market was freaking big and sold everything from sex toys to snake meat.
Another shot of the night market. Actually I only took pictures of this certain night market. The others were far too crowded to take a good picture. The other night markets were also much more fun so I was busy enjoying myself instead of taking pictures.
They sell handphones like that at the night market. Prices wise,
slightly cheaper than what you can find in Singapore. You just need to have a SIM card and then you can start using them. But it's just the handphone, no head piece or whatever provided. Rather unreliable.
The regular squid balls you find at Takopachi (how do you spell it?). 6 for SG$1.70. How much does Singapore sell them? 3 for SG$2.00. And the Taiwan version is crispier and does not taste too much like flour. Damn.
One of the reasons why I came back to Taiwan. Rice topped with braised minced pork and some sauce. Cheap at about SG$1.00 per bowl. Simple yet heavenly. :D
Something you can find in Taipei's food courts, which are huge by the way. This was taken in the basement food court in Taipei 101 tower. In that hot plate, you can find noodles, beef, egg and vegetables. Rather expensive but still worth it.
Oh yah, a certain shop which sells snake soup. The other shops did not allow me to take pictures. I think I saw this shop on television before, on one of those Taiwan food shows. And no, I didn't go in.
All the rules of driving that I learnt doesn't seem to apply in the streets of Taiwan. Motor scooters seem to travel wherever they like and pedestrians don't really have the right of way at a junction. They just chiong and chiong, but admist all the confusion on who's going where, there seemed to be a unspoken agreement between motorist and pedestrian, like my mum said, "Order admist disorder." Above is a typical street in Taiwan, near Ximenting where my hotel is.
Something you will never ever find in Singapore. People lining up, waiting to board the train. Lines have been drawn out for them. I wonder if it will ever work for Singapore.
One of Taipei's trademarks, Taipei 101 tower. There's a posh shopping area on the 1st five levels. I heard you had to buy tickets to go to the top. It's new, so the building is still pretty empty.
Children in Singapore play with Power Rangers and Pokemon, children in Taiwan play with live crabs. Live crabs! Muahaha, damn dangerous sia. Looks fun though, someday I shall try. But all the crabs I see in Singapore are usually cooked and seasoned with lots of pepper, so I guess I'll just play with my Pink Ranger action figure.
Next to the hotel toilet door. Ahhahaha, damn funny. It's quite easy to guess the meaning though. :P
So here's Taipei for you! Not a very vivid description of it, but that's what I got. Oh yah, I suddenly remembered! My taiwan friend told me that schools in Taiwan just abolished all school rules on hairstyles! Like wtf? Do you know how lucky those people are? Everything is allowed, damn it. Argh..doubt it will ever happen in Singapore.
Haha..okay, hoped you liked the pictures. I'll show you what I bought in the next post. Till then, good bye!
the one about being back
Phew, back finally from Taiwan. Right now, I'm dead tired and super sluggish with super bad hair. Guess I put on a few kgs too. Ok, I'll probably tell blog about the trip in the next 2 days because now, I am too conked out to think coherantly. And I just made a spelling error in the previous sentence but I'm so not going to back space because I'm lazy.
I'm so sick of my dreadful hairstyle that I've decided to cut it short, and hopefully that'll liberate me from some inferior complex problems. And I'm going to take MRT down to Orchard to buy the tote bag for my friend's birthday. Then I'll probably come home to sleep.
Sorry for wasting your time. This entry is really pointless. If you felt that this entry was a complete waste of time, you shouldn't have read it and you can now happily move your cursor to the top left hand corner of the screen and press 'back'.
Goodbye and bress you.
